Making TEA
Multitasking for parents of college bound teens
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Feeling Pulled in a Zillion Directions?
The Many Roles of a Parent with a Teen Starting the College Search
Last week I had the opportunity to join Irene Gutman and Tom Ossa on WRCR radio*. Our topic was the college search adventure and we chatted about the ways in which parents can support their teens during this anxiety-provoking, challenging and lengthy process. As I reflected on our conversation, I realized that parents wear so many hats, and sometimes, the need to understand those varying roles and shift quickly from one to another goes unrecognized, unexamined, and consequently unrealized. These are the roles my husband and I played during our daughter’s college search.
Sounding Board - just being there, to listen to ideas-about what’s important in a college, what to study, where to go, how far away-that span the spectrum from far-fetched to realistic
Cheerleader/Support - during those difficult and distressing times, such as before and after standardized testing, when learning of test results, when report cards are ready for review, when the search feels overwhelming and endless
Coach/Partner - asking questions, checking in, supporting the development of plans and deadlines
Assistant - helping with some of the research (particularly financial information and questions), organizing materials, coordinating family schedules, and providing examples of project management techniques... Because this is a project of enormous proportions
Consultant -offering advice when asked
Travel Companion -to far away places (maybe!)
Observer - of the college adventure in all its details
Seer - of the (present) big picture, and of the transition to the future for the teen and the family members remaining at home
I hope you make the time to think through the roles you want to play in your teen’s life- from now into adulthood. Seize the opportunity now to more fully imagine your role with your teen and take the first steps to deepen your relationship.
Resources
The Many Roles of a Parent with a Teen Starting the College Search
Last week I had the opportunity to join Irene Gutman and Tom Ossa on WRCR radio*. Our topic was the college search adventure and we chatted about the ways in which parents can support their teens during this anxiety-provoking, challenging and lengthy process. As I reflected on our conversation, I realized that parents wear so many hats, and sometimes, the need to understand those varying roles and shift quickly from one to another goes unrecognized, unexamined, and consequently unrealized. These are the roles my husband and I played during our daughter’s college search.
Sounding Board - just being there, to listen to ideas-about what’s important in a college, what to study, where to go, how far away-that span the spectrum from far-fetched to realistic
Cheerleader/Support - during those difficult and distressing times, such as before and after standardized testing, when learning of test results, when report cards are ready for review, when the search feels overwhelming and endless
Coach/Partner - asking questions, checking in, supporting the development of plans and deadlines
Assistant - helping with some of the research (particularly financial information and questions), organizing materials, coordinating family schedules, and providing examples of project management techniques... Because this is a project of enormous proportions
Consultant -offering advice when asked
Travel Companion -to far away places (maybe!)
Observer - of the college adventure in all its details
Seer - of the (present) big picture, and of the transition to the future for the teen and the family members remaining at home
I hope you make the time to think through the roles you want to play in your teen’s life- from now into adulthood. Seize the opportunity now to more fully imagine your role with your teen and take the first steps to deepen your relationship.
Resources
- You can listen to the show here The interview begins at just after 7 minutes. after the introduction.
If you’re interested in reading about the many roles teens must play in the their college adventure, look at the March 14, 2007 post on my blog on Major in You
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