Making TEA
The Envelope Please! Top Ten Tips: Preparing for News about Your Teen’s Future
Tuesday, April 05, 2011
Letters and news from college admissions offices are arriving in the mailbox, the inbox, and are being posted online. It can be a rather tense time at home, so let’s talk about what to do to support your teen right now... while waiting!
To Do
1. Listen to your teen-what she’s saying and what she’s not saying
2. Take the lead from your teen-if he wants to talk about college choices, fears of rejection, concerns about moving away or handling the workload... and don’t be surprised if your teen just wants to get some space from the whole process
3. Encourage your teen to enjoy the last few months of school-maintaining grades and keeping to comfortable routines
4. Help you teen to imagine the transition to college: What is he most looking forward to? What will it feel like to move away from home-or to stay at home and commute to college? What are her concerns?
5. There may still be time to find local scholarships... even $500 is really helpful-books for a semester or a roundtrip plane trip home for the holidays, so maybe your teen can focus some energy in that way
6. Help your teen become truly college ready: Talk about budgeting the dollars for each month. Open a joint checking account with your teen. Apply for debit and/or credit card-and talk about the responsibilities of each. Encourage healthy eating, cooking and laundry responsibilities, sleep -> self care is critical; Conversations about sex, drugs & alcohol are important too
7. Prepare yourself for the range of possibilities-accepted, wait-listed, deferred, rejected. If you have thought through your reactions then you can be there to help your teen keep perspective
And avoid
8. Talking about the first choice school
9. Asking about whether your daughter’s friends have heard from colleges
10. Comparing results with other parents... it’s too easy to get caught up in the mania again.
I hope that talking through these possibilities has sparked ideas of your own! I find that sometime parents are reluctant to have the conversations about transitioning from home to college. I think it’s important for our teens to know-we still think about them... just in new and different ways... and that they need to do the same.
If you have questions about any aspect of the college search or you would like support for your teen or you on this journey, contact me for information or a complimentary Strategy session, and listen to College Bound & Determined on www.webtalkradio.net
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To Do
1. Listen to your teen-what she’s saying and what she’s not saying
2. Take the lead from your teen-if he wants to talk about college choices, fears of rejection, concerns about moving away or handling the workload... and don’t be surprised if your teen just wants to get some space from the whole process
3. Encourage your teen to enjoy the last few months of school-maintaining grades and keeping to comfortable routines
4. Help you teen to imagine the transition to college: What is he most looking forward to? What will it feel like to move away from home-or to stay at home and commute to college? What are her concerns?
5. There may still be time to find local scholarships... even $500 is really helpful-books for a semester or a roundtrip plane trip home for the holidays, so maybe your teen can focus some energy in that way
6. Help your teen become truly college ready: Talk about budgeting the dollars for each month. Open a joint checking account with your teen. Apply for debit and/or credit card-and talk about the responsibilities of each. Encourage healthy eating, cooking and laundry responsibilities, sleep -> self care is critical; Conversations about sex, drugs & alcohol are important too
7. Prepare yourself for the range of possibilities-accepted, wait-listed, deferred, rejected. If you have thought through your reactions then you can be there to help your teen keep perspective
And avoid
8. Talking about the first choice school
9. Asking about whether your daughter’s friends have heard from colleges
10. Comparing results with other parents... it’s too easy to get caught up in the mania again.
I hope that talking through these possibilities has sparked ideas of your own! I find that sometime parents are reluctant to have the conversations about transitioning from home to college. I think it’s important for our teens to know-we still think about them... just in new and different ways... and that they need to do the same.
If you have questions about any aspect of the college search or you would like support for your teen or you on this journey, contact me for information or a complimentary Strategy session, and listen to College Bound & Determined on www.webtalkradio.net
Major in You
blog her
Friend Jill
Tweet with Jill
Listen to Jill
